Blue Monday

Today ended up being a sick day, thanks to waking up off and on all night with a stomach bug.  And right when that settled down and I could start eating again, along came the scratchy throat and the general thickness of a nice cold coming on.  Some cinematic comfort food helped a bit, but the physical malaise only served to underline the general mental malaise I have this time of year.

For some people it’s the holidays when they feel a little down.  For me, it’s right after.  There’s always that melancholy sense that I didn’t celebrate enough, that I somehow missed out.  And it’s generally hard to get back into the swing of the work routine after so many long weekends.  A lot of it just seems so dull, and everyone feels like they’re groaning back out of the merriment of the season.  The long year looms ahead, and we feel it.

But these last two Januarys have really been rough because I’ve had the little island of spending six days at Disneyland with Jillian.  Yes, we’re running long races and there was the disappointment she experienced, but it was nearly a week together in the Happiest Place on Earth.  It was so easy to fall into the routine of no job, no responsibilities, just me and her spending time together.  And then all too soon it was Monday and we were on separate planes, and it’ll be another three months before I see her again.  Electronic communication is one thing, but being around her?  That’s really hard to leave behind, even knowing when we’ll next meet.  I miss her.

So combine all that with my stomach and the flu and you’ve got a generally crappy Monday.  The good news is I’m so tired I’ll probably be asleep soon.  And most of this is just the product of being sick.  Tomorrow will be another day, and I’ll eventually feel better.  Just let me wallow for a bit.


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