Anchor Management


9b8d5509d4f1d9d66899ff771a9367723acb80309f4b339e9f2e2fb71ca19fda_mediumSo thanks to our current Buffoon-in-Chief — that would be Donald Trump to the rest of you — a ton of Republicans are running around shouting about “anchor babies.”  Yes, the party of family values and choosing life has reduced the existence of a living, breathing human with no control over the circumstances of its birth to an inanimate object brought into being solely to get a green card.

First of all, let’s get something straight here:  unless your ancestors were already here when the Vikings or Columbus or the Jamestown settlers or the Chinese or who the hell ever first stumbled onto the place, you owe your existence to an anchor baby.  Somebody in your family tree was born on this continent to somebody who wasn’t.  Hell, even the Native American ancestors probably crossed over a land bridge from somewhere else to get here.  This continent has been a land of immigrants since the early Mesolithic period.  So let he who is without foreign ancestors cast the first mesolith.

And has anybody taken a look at the plaque on the Statue of Liberty lately?  You know, the bit about, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free”?  There’s nothing there about earning the approval of a businessman who’s had more failed businesses than Wile E. Coyote has had failed ACME purchases.  We’re supposed to be a beacon, a promise of something better.  Not a whites-only club where if you’re brown or black or yellow, well, you should have been born somewhere else, off you go.

Because that’s what all this boils down to.  A bunch of scared white people worried about the playing field finally being leveled after a couple of millennia of them in the driver’s seat.  Old men feeling their thrones wobbling beneath their wrinkled asses, their absolutely dominion no longer accepted without question.  These are their death throes, and their only means of survival is to make everyone else as scared as they are.  And unfortunately, it’s working.

Because it’s easier to fearmonger than it is to inspire.  It’s easier to appeal to the baser instincts that to summon our higher natures.  Fear doesn’t require a plan, or an idea, or a solution.  It only requires a target.  And when your worldview is as small as it is for some of these people, it’s easy to see nothing but targets all around.

Of course, there is one way for these anchor babies to gain acceptance:  have their mothers try to get an abortion.  Then you can be damn sure the Republican clown car would bend over backwards to think of them as people.  Until they were actually born, that is.

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