My first thoughts were my TV and my computer. But no, there was my Blu-ray’s home screen on the TV, so both those were working. And my browser was still showing on my monitor, so that wasn’t the problem.
Then I noticed all the lights on my modem were out. And a sense of dread settled over me.
I had no internet.
I unplugged it and plugged it back in. I removed the coax from it and reconnected it. I pushed any buttons on it I could find. I may have tried kind, soothing words. But nothing. It was dead. My only links to the outside world were the mobile connection on my phone and the HD antenna running to my TV.
Okay, no need to panic. I called Bright House and explained the situation, and they helpfully began to set up a service appointment to take care of the problem. All right! Great customer service! This was awesome.
Sorry? Your earliest available appointment is Monday?
Back to despair and agony. I asked if I could just bring the old modem to a service center and swap it out. But apparently their policy doesn’t allow for swapping internet equipment at their centers. I guess a guy in a blue shirt has to come and work some voodoo to replace one modem with another. So Monday it was.
But after running my 5K on Saturday morning, it occurred to me: why not just buy my own modem? Yes, it would be an initial expense, but after a while not paying Bright House every month to rent theirs, it would pay for itself. And I’d be back online long before Monday! Oh farewell wretched misery! So I hit up Target, found a solid little Netgear modem for $70, rushed home, and prepared to tell Bright House where they could stick their modem.
The set up was simple. The instructions clear. An easy phone call and I would be back in the real world. The rep on the phone did their thing, and told me I should be online,
My modem vociferously disagreed.
They tried again, confident this was indeed it.
This was indeed NOT it.
Repeated efforts brought no joy. An angry red light blinked at me as my network connection had a big ugly X on it. I would still need my service appointment on Monday. And was now looking at the possibility of being charged for it, since it was mt personal modem that was the problem. My seeming cleverness had blown up in my face.
I tried to get online as best I could with my mobile connection, but it was like pedaling a bicycle through concrete. I got where I was going, but it was ugly. I tried composing a blog post on my tablet, but gave up in frustration. My news feed grew wild and unkempt. Threads I’d been following went on without me. I was forced to … oh, can I even say it?
I was forced to seek out human company. Outside my apartment. In person.
Flash forward to today and my long-awaited appointment. And since you’re reading this, the results should be obvious. Turns out my various calls to support had resulted in two different modems being set up on my account, and the active one was one whose origin no one could determine. The tech who made the visit called a rep, they removed the offending modem, and suddenly I was back in the world of memes and shares and likes. A small tear may have rolled down my cheek.
Three days. That’s how long I was without internet. Three whole days. Three long, awful, horrible days.
Please keep me in your thoughts. And make sure to tag me so I see them.