Hard of Hearing


This is going to get grossly specific about my ears, so maybe skip this next paragraph if you’re squeamish.  Hell, skip this next paragraph anyway on general principle.  Okay, let’s not get grossly specific then, for everybody’s sake.

The short version is that my ears tend to get clogged, especially when they get water in them, which happened over the weekend.  I had one ear pretty well stopped up, which led to me pouring Debrox into it over and over again, which helped a little but not enough.  So I had this weird mono thing going all weekend, where everything to my left was muffled and everything to my right WAS PIERCINGLY LOUD.

It didn’t hurt, but man it was annoying.  Chewing sounded funny.  The water hitting my head in the shower sounded funny.  My voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere way over there, and I hate to think what my volume was without a way to accurately judge it.  Every once in a while there would be a pop, and for a few seconds things would get a little louder, but then it was like a door closing and the sound muffled once again.

This has happened to me before over the years, and the pattern is pretty much the same:  I try to treat it myself, to the point of giving myself an ear ache trying to dig whatever it is out of there, and then, after days of frustration, I finally cave in to the fact that I’m paying money for insurance so that medical professionals can take care of this.  They’re trained to stick things in my ear, so this morning I paid them to do just that, and I am now once again living in stereo.  It wasn’t quite choirs of angels singing, but it was close.  I babbled to myself just to hear the sound of my voice actually wrapping around both sides of my head.  Yeah, I got some odd looks, but I’d earned it.

Although I did feel bad for the poor nurse who had to irrigate lord knows what out of my ears, probably thinking I was some gross bacterial farm and questioning her choices that had led her to this point.  Okay, sorry, that was grossly specific.

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