Being a Brief History of My Favorite Beers

Because no one demanded it…

The Formative Years:  Miller Genuine Draft.  The comfort of a familiar name combined with a non-threatening taste and that soothing adjective there in the middle.  The beverage of a man who simply did not know any better, but did know he was sick of wine coolers.

The Wandering Years:  Icehouse.  Because all the cool kids were doing it.  Brewed so cold so as to remove any doubt that you were drinking anything good.  It’s main use was as an alcoholic balm for the consumption of hot buffalo wings, another instance in which it was virtually indistinguishable from water.

The Wild Years:  Yuengling.  The lubricant for many an evening of poor decisions.  Actually thought it was a Chinese beer when I first heard of it.  Delivered cheaply and plentifully thanks to my Universal discount, and the bane of many a long walk down the stairs to the closest bathroom.

The Puzzling Years:  Red Dog.  Yeah, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of.  Return on investment — a 12-pack for what most six-packs of actual beer cost — was a major factor here.  Ideal for those last-minute hurricane preparations when common sense is outweighed by the knowledge of an unexpected long weekend.  A beer that says, “We both know what we’re here for, no need for the small talk.”

The Renaissance:  Killian’s.  Finally, a real beer.  None of this near-water you could read a book through.  Oh, it didn’t have the viscosity of Bass or Guinness, but you also didn’t have to chew it.  My good good friend through many a long Sunday of horrible football.

The Golden Age:  Sam Adams.  In all its forms.  A seasonal journey through one wicked pissah after another.  Bitter but happy, and the first beer I was on a first-name basis with.

The Restoration:  Bud Select 55.  Because all that other beer made me fat.

The Modern Age:  And now, we come to today, and after much deliberation, my current favorite beer is…

Kona Big Wave Golden Ale

Because nothing says “mid-life crisis” like having a Hawaiian beer be as close as you can get to running away to Hawaii on your budget.



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