Death of a Sales Spam

It used to be that, whenever I felt burned out and too drained to come up with something interesting to write about, I could always turn to WordPress’ spam folder for my comments and find some fodder for a snarky comment or two.  Broken English, random strings of words, bizarre synergies, it was all there, a quick and easy source of material for those days when my head just wasn’t in the blogging game.

And now they have let me down.

Still somewhat out of it from the long weekend (which I lazily took off because, well, it’s my blog and I can, dammit), I looked through the spam folder today and, well, it’s pretty depressing.  Nobody seems to be trying anymore.  I do have to give credit to, um, 私服开区开服服务6x0n6k, who managed what looks like almost complete sentences, but damned if I know in what.  Everyone else though?  They just repeat their user name.  Hey, look, Miche Handbags said, “Miche handbags.”  There’s something to be said for brevity in advertising, but that’s not going to get this post up to three or four hundred words, people.

There was the enticing mystery offered by Just Click the Next Webpage.  Did they mean the link below their name — the next webpage I would see — or the webpage after that?  Isn’t every link eventually the next webpage?  What did they want me to see?  Alas, they were not forthcoming, Nor was the equally enigmatic Please Click the Up Coming Post, a possibly Godot-esque meditation on internet browsing habits, but more likely something to do with running shoes, if the URL is to be believed.

The lone bright spot was a user by the name of News, who wrote:

Hello, I enjoy reading all of your article. I wanted to write a little comment to support you.

First of all, they admit to having read all of my article, which displays a fortitude I can’t help but admire, especially because the post in question was me writing about the original, un-cool Battlestar Galactica.  But it’s that last sentence that grips me.  Was this the actual little comment to support me?  Or should I be breathlessly expecting another little comment of support at a later date?  An up coming post, perhaps?

If only all my spammers still showed the initiative and imagination of News.  Well, 私服开区开服服务6x0n6k might be, but I still don’t know what the hell they’re even talking about.


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