Avenged Sevenfold


I really wish people would shut up and let me enjoy Avengers: Age of Ultron in peace.

I want to sit here and bask in the pure comic book glory of the four-color characters I grew up with coming to life in the biggest, most exciting way possible.  But apparently a movie with a green giant, a killer robot and a Norse god is required to be a realistic depiction of a progressive, diverse society every second of its running time, the idea that a strong woman of action might actually have romantic feelings for a man is a massive setback for feminism, and two characters of indeterminate ethnicity from a fictional country apparently should have been played by actual actors of indeterminate ethnicity from a fictional country.

This movie is a big ball of summer fun, and people seem to be going out of their way to find reasons to be mad about it.  It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to talk about it anymore, because it’ll only invite yet another weary chorus of, “Yes, but…” as people jostle to be the most concerned.  Well I don’t want to hear it.  If unabashedly loving well-done spectacle makes me some kind of regressive chauvinist bigot, well, call me Archie Bunker.  Because I’m not looking to a Marvel movie featuring a man in a flying suit of armor to change the world or right its wrongs.

Look, I don’t begrudge the opinion of anyone who didn’t like the movie.  I don’t want everyone to agree with me so we can dance hand in hand and sing its praises together.  But it’s just depressing to see pop culture so nitpicked and dissected.  I’ve seen more armchair military historians who’ve probably never wielding a weapon that wasn’t made of pixels expounding on the poor tactics in the climactic battle in the last episode of Game of Thrones than there probably are actual military historians in the world.  It’s not enough to just not care for something, we have to be better than it, smarter than it, above it.  It has to be put in its place before it gets too full of itself.  We have to pull every thread until only tatters remain.

I’m not advocating mindless zombie-like consumption of entertainment.  But jeez, can’t we have fun everyone once in a while?  Because there’s a giant suit of armor fighting the Hulk and it looks really really cool.

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