You maniac! You blew it up!
I took a walk after work on Thursday, and as I got ready to take a shower, I stared into the mirror and somehow mustered the nerve to remove a big swath of beard. It was the grooming equivalent of Cortés burning his ships; I couldn’t leave it looking like that, so I had to get rid of the whole thing. After my shower I got my razor and did a proper shave, and boy could I tell my face hasn’t felt a blade in a while. I could almost hear the blade scraping the hair off, like the sound of rocks scraping together. The face that looked back at me was familiar but strange. And round. Very round.
I’ll keep it this way for the time being. It’s taking some getting used to, but I don’t hate it. I just haven’t been like this for so long. I don’t have anything on my chin to stroke contemplatively. I fear this may make me dumber.