What I’d Watch 8/2/13

Deuces are wild this week, whether it be number of films in the series or number of stars in the film.  There’s another definition of deuce that could conceivably apply to one of this week’s films, but since this is a family blog, I’ll leave that unmentioned.

smurfs2_posterThe first Smurfs film (and try saying that three times fast) inexplicably grossed nearly $150 million two years ago, coming out right around the same time as its cleverly titled sequel.  It’s a good slot for a family film, with most of the big guns having already fired, so something like this can sneak its way to a good run.  I just wish it was a good family film.  Or even an original one.  The two biggest animated films of the year so far are Despicable Me 2 and Monsters University.  And next week’s Cars spinoff Planes will probably rake in the cash too.  Of course, you ask for original, you get Turbo, so maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.

2guns_posterThis week’s other release, 2 Guns, feels like it really wanted to be a Lethal Weapon movie and is just sorry Mel Gibson’s gone a little crazy lately.  The trailers have also presented a ton of really tired action and buddy comedy beats like they’re somehow new and refreshing just because it’s Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg running us through them.  So we get really earnest gun-firing and really determined slow motion walking and I just shrug.  They keep trying to make Wahlberg this big star, but unless he’s paired with Martin Scorsese or a teddy bear, it just ain’t happening.  Washington might lift this up a bit, but even he’s not exactly a blockbuster lead.  Still, there’s not much out there action-wise, so this could find a niche.

Next week is really the summer’s last gasp, with Elysium, the new Percy Jackson film, Planes, and our semi-annual reminder Jennifer Aniston still exists, We’re the Millers.  One of those I’m really excited about, the rest, not so much.  Pretty much in keeping with the ratio of films I’ve enjoyed this summer to films released.  .250 might get me a middling baseball contract, but it doesn’t add up to much of a summer movie season.


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