Only Mostly Dead


So one of my oldest friends was dead for about twenty minutes yesterday.

Now don’t panic.  I don’t mean he coded in an operating room and had some near death experience or something.  It was much more mundane than that, and really just a big misunderstanding on my part.  But for those twenty minutes, I wasn’t sure if he was still around or not.

See, I got this very official looking letter from a lawyer referring to him as “the deceased,” and inquiring if I had any knowledge of his heirs.  I should have been logical about this.  I’d just texted with him on the 28th, and the letter was dated the 29th.  Lawyers are ruthlessly efficient, but I doubt they work that fast.  And it wasn’t even his full name, just his first and middle name, which he shares with his grandfather.  Who actually is deceased, and who it turns out the letter was actually in reference to.  But two-thirds of a name was enough to have me thinking my friend had kicked it.

And of course, instead of just calling or texting him right off the bat like a sane person would, I composed numerous panicked messages to friends asking if they’d heard from him lately.  Fortunately, I pulled myself back from that ledge before I sent them and made a total idiot out of myself, and before long I’d gotten in touch with him and he and I were laughing over his almost expired state.

The only problem now is that if he does actually die, I won’t believe it.

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