Spam I Am


The ol’ spam filter has been in overdrive lately, especially considering the absolutely stupid number of hits my Argo review brings here every day.  Apparently, it’s one of the top results on Google for people searching for variations of “broken Hollywood sign Argo,” so it manages anywhere from twenty hits on a slow day to over seventy the last two days (undoubtedly with an Oscar bump in there).  So more traffic has meant more devious attempts to lure people away with oh so subtle marketing.  Here’s a taste of what’s been coming in lately.

First, there’s a user named Internet Video Streaming, and already I’m disappointed with the lack of effort here.  I appreciate the straightforwardness, but come on!  Woo me.  Buy me dinner first.  Their first comment is:

Do you own any other expert articles correlated to this one?

“This one” being my CineMe post on The Producers.  And yes, I own numerous expert articles on it.  I cut them out and paste them in a scrapbook.  But it turns out, it’s not The Producers they’re interested in:

Anyways, I enjoy all your postings, nevertheless I want additional information about moviestarplanet
fame fortune.

Well, clearly I need to write more posts about moviestarplanets, as the demand is obviously out there.  I’ll work my way up to fame fortune later.

Online Payday Loans keeps the laziness going, although their pitch is somewhat unique in its utter incomprehensibility:

There are few situations income payday as, banned manner and even if you owe money to friends and family….

I have no idea what’s going on here, but ending on a cliffhanger?  That’s smart.  I’m dying to find out what happens next.  Probably involves paying 427% interest or something.

Then there’s Mobile Disco London, which sounds like some greatest hits collection from the second British Invasion.  “Now K-Tel brings you this deluxe two-record set of your favorite Scritti Politti and Talk Talk b-sides, Mobile Disco London!”  They liked my Oscar prediction post, so much so that:

I’m confident they will be benefited from this web site.

Just like I’ll be benefited from hiring a mobile DJ from London to fly over and MC my next soiree.  Come on, know your market!  I have a hard time getting to the U.K. pavilion at EPCOT, there’s no way I’m going to be needing a DJ in the actual London any time soon.

Next up is Viagra Kopen.  I can’t possibly imagine where this is going.  But they are awfully complimentary:

Thnx for posting this great information. Keep up the great job. I’ll subscribe to your website also. Thnx!

That’s downright lucid by spammer standards.  It almost makes me think that maybe Viagra is some foreign name with which I’m not familiar, and this is a genuine expression of enthusiasm by a…

kopen

Oh.  Never mind.  Although I am dying to know if Viagra is in fact ook voor u de oplossing.  Because there’s not enough oplossing in my life.

Finally, there’s sexcontacten from contact-sex.net, with the email domain “hornysluttiesonline.com.”

Excuse me, I’m needed elsewhere.

Advertisements

One thought on “Spam I Am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s